Who's the 'real' mom? Did you adopt? Queer parents on the questions they're constantly getting.
Queer parents on the questions they're constantly getting.
Mar 6, 2023
As a same-sex couple raising kids, my wife and I had to file for second-parent adoption — here's why
How humiliating to think that I would need letters of reference and a judge to officially deem me qualified to be something that I already was: a mother.
Feb 2, 2023
How Do I Tell My Kids Our Family Has a Target on Our Backs?
I asked other queer parents how they're talking to their kids about anti-lgbtq legislation.
Jul 19, 2022
As a same-sex couple, my wife and I want our sons to be proud of unconventional families.
As a same-sex couple, my wife and I want our sons to be proud of unconventional families. We want them to know it's OK to be different.
Jun 16, 2022
My wife and I are frequently naked around our children.
We want to encourage them to ask questions instead of feeling shamed.
Jun 2, 2022
How Now and Then Transformed Me into a Loyal Friend and a Better Listener
This 1995 coming-of-age movie helped shape me into who I am today.
Feb 7, 2022
Tiny Love Stories: When It Was Time
I carried our first child, and my wife carried our second — a perk of our two-uterus marriage. As her belly grew, so did my apprehension. Could I love this baby as much as the one I birthed?
Nov 9, 2021
The New York Times
It's Okay to Hate Your Scars
Women are expected to minimize our trauma and love our scars. Ten years after the writer suffered a hit-and-run accident that took her ear, she realized she didn't have to embrace expectation.
Jul 13, 2021
This Mother’s Day, I’m Thankful for My Little Queer Community
For LGBTQ+ parents, finding a community of other queer families can be a vital source of support and camaraderie.
May 7, 2021
How to Discuss Fun Crushes in a Relationship Without Anyone Getting Jealous
Being open about harmless outside attractions is a potentially hot way to feel closer to each other.
Jan 26, 2021
The pandemic has parents stressed out. Shaming one another on Facebook isn’t the answer.
There’s occasional drama within these groups, but that’s a social media norm. For the most part, it’s a virtual place where many of us turn to connect with family, friends and even strangers.
Jul 2, 2020
The Washington Post
Why it’s okay for a boy with two mommies to have an imaginary daddy
My toddler likes to play games with a mommy and a daddy. I'm okay with that.
Mar 3, 2020
The Washington Post
Does Sharing a Sperm Donor Make Us Family?
I was reluctant to connect with my son's donor siblings because I didn't think of them as family.
Dec 19, 2019
The Washington Post
The Registry: Coming Out to My Journal Helped Me Come Out to the World
When I first fell for another woman, my journal gave me a space to spell out my queer identity in ways I otherwise couldn't.
Oct 10, 2019
How parenthood has helped me redefine Pride
In our 20s, June meant boozy brunches and PDAs. Now married with a child, we celebrate in a different way, and with greater purpose.
Jun 10, 2019
The Washington Post
My Two-Year-Old is Learning to Talk. So Are His Moms
It's tricky enough navigating language with a toddler without the complications of queer parenthood. But no matter what he calls us or how he comes to understand our family is different, I just want him to know he's loved.
May 10, 2019
I Didn't Know How to Share Until I Became a Lesbian Mom
How becoming a mom taught me that I didn't need to be selfless to be a good parent.
May 12, 2018
This Mother's Day, I Want My Wife to Feel Like a Mother, Too
Because I birthed our baby, society sees me as the "mom" and her as my "sidekick." But she's the mother I've always dreamed my son could have.
May 12, 2017
Why It’s Important To Me To Avoid Mother’s Day
We delete the emails. We tear up during the commercials. We face milestones in our lives without her mother.
May 2, 2017
This Technique for An Easier Labor Felt Terrible, But Was Totally Worth It
I'd been warned that birth plans — like the best laid plans — often go awry.
Jan 19, 2017
How I’m Reconciling Giving Birth In Trump’s New America
As same-sex parents we must remain visible.
Nov 20, 2016
What to Expect When You're Gay and Expecting
People ask the weirdest questions and say the strangest things.
Nov 16, 2016
I DIDN’T REALIZE HOW I FELT ABOUT ABORTION UNTIL I CHOSE TO GET PREGNANT
GOP candidates Donald Trump and Mike Pence’s extreme anti-abortion views made this lesbian writer truly appreciate the distinction between being “pro-life” and “pro-choice.”
Oct 5, 2016
What's It Really Like to Choose a Sperm Donor
Laura Leigh Abby knew that she and her wife, Sam, couldn't have a baby who was half of each of them, but she didn't anticipate how tricky picking a sperm donor would actually be.
Aug 22, 2016
Struck in New York City
Five years ago today I was the victim of a hit-and-run, but what does that mean to me now?
Jul 26, 2016
The Diagnosis I Never Expected Was Revealed To Me On TV
True Life: I had my eggs tested for reality TV.
Mar 30, 2016
I'm Trying to Get Pregnant with a Stranger's Sperm and It's Going Horribly
It's nice that celebrities are opening up about infertility, but what's it like for the rest of us?
Mar 20, 2016
5 Happiness Secrets I Wish I’d Known In My 20s
I spent most of my 20s living in New York City, a metropolis that fed me (too much), broke me, revived me, and shaped me. NYC is one of the great loves of my life, and as I prepare to leave it for a new phase of my life, I can’t help but reflect on how the city changed me.
Feb 16, 2016
These stories of 'coming out' to family over the holidays may give you courage — or pause.
Is coming out to your family during the holiday season right for you?
Nov 24, 2015
'Could I be gay after all these years?' For these women, the answer was 'yes.'
I was 19 when I met my wife, but it took another decade before I got comfortable with words like "lesbian" and "bisexual."
Oct 26, 2015
WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE ANIMALS
While my wife’s mother lay dying in a hospital, her animals lived alone in her house.Tell people more about this item. Give people the info they need to go ahead and take the action you want. To make this item your own, click here.
Jun 23, 2015
Will Other Lesbians Accept Me if I Used to Date Men?
When my wife Samantha and I decided to be filmed for a reality television series — Newlyweds: The First Year on Bravo — we worried about the reaction of the lesbian community. Will they accept us? we wondered.
May 17, 2015
My Two Years Without An Ear
I lost my left ear in an accident almost four years ago. Only recently have I been able to feel like myself again.
Apr 8, 2015
Why Is It So Hard to Say, "This Is My Wife"?
I've learned that I can't complain about narrow-mindedness in others if I'm displaying it myself.
Feb 21, 2015
Sometimes city life pushes us too hard, hard enough that we push back with the worst versions of ourselves.
Apr 10, 2014
What’s in a Name?
Choosing a new name was going to be a compromise.
Dec 2, 2013
For Gay Children of Straight Parents
Not for a moment did I worry that my family would cast me out. Sadly, this isn't the case for most gay people, and I am grateful that I was so fortunate.
Nov 6, 2013
Who Walks Down The Aisle First?
Two brides-to-be carve out our own traditions.
Jul 30, 2013
I married my sorority sister
When people ask how Sam and I met, I almost never tell them the entire story – that I was Sam’s big sister in a sorority. I still feel ashamed of that detail, as if I did something wrong by falling for her, or I took advantage of her in some way. So I keep my answer simple. I tell them we met in college.
Jan 23, 2013
Why I'm Obsessed with the Duggar Family
As a queer woman, I have long disliked the Duggars for using fame to push an agenda of intolerance.
Death Becomes Her
When I picked up Caitlin Doughty’s debut memoir "Smoke Gets in Your Eyes: And Other Lessons from the Crematory"—now a New York Times bestseller—my eyes widened. I was eager to learn her secrets of a new and different way of thinking, one in which it’s okay to talk about dying.
An Accident Paid Off My MFA Debt
Just over a month before I entered the graduate writing program at The New School I was struck by a car as I stepped into a crosswalk on the Upper West Side of Manhattan.
Two years before we were married, my wife Sam watched her mom die.
At Sam’s mom’s funeral I sat in the front pew with the family. Of course I did. Her mother was my family, too. Or at least she was supposed to be.